Sogno

There's times that I wish you could just go back and do it all over again. I tend to lose sight of things that are really important to me sometimes and I have no idea why. Lately I've had this new-found sense of motivation, but then I look at what I use it for and I just...feel like I'm doing it WRONG.


Way too deep for this early in the day.  Here's something superficial -- I'm annoyed and bored, and am looking forward to the weekend. Even though it's Tuesday.

So....I got flowers today.

Surprising for me, I really wasn't expecting anything at all on V-day, from just about anyone. Maybe an e-card of two, those are nice, and maybe something from family or close friends, but other than that, not so much. Which makes this even weirder....because...well...


I have absolutely no idea where they are from.


I called around, and everyone's denying they sent them. I know it wasn't my family (called them) and I don't think either Tina or Shel would've sent them, considering neither like flowers in particular and would probably send me something else. Ryan's a possibility (lol), but somehow I doubt it :P Confusing, but...kinda cool. So if you sent them, thanks :) You made my day.

So...yesterday was fun. Met a bunch of new people, they were fun too. Nothing but Mohitos and Rum and Coke the entire night, plus Mellow Mushroom pizza.

I think the superbowl came on at some point too.

And then we watched the new episode of House. It was surprisingly good, though I have a feeling they're going to make House this touchy feely bastard that totally goes against his character and everything I like about him. Writer's strike == subpar writing? Kidding.... But seriously, the superbowl made me incredibly happy too, though I think I would've felt that way with either team. I mean a four time superbowl winner in five years would've had me grinning ear to ear, but a last minute comeback? Voila, another ear to ear grin.

So it was fun. New people, new friends, interesting people, good times. It's been a while since I've done something like that, and I'm glad that it happened. Hopefully it'll turn into a weekly trivia thing or something, that'd be fantastic.

In other news...do you ever feel like you just try and try and try to smooth things over with someone or try to just make things decent with them, and no matter how hard you try, the other person just doesn't? I'm a very optimistic person, and I tend to try to make things go well between friends, regardless of hell or high water. But...I'm beginning to feel jaded, just that slightest bit cynical of people...feeling that least little bit like I shouldn't even try to make the effort, because frankly, I deserve better.

And maybe I do. I guess we'll find out.

Me and Andrew are gonna go cruise for chicks. Yeah. It'll be fun. Wingmen unite? lol

I love you guys so much, you are, quite simply put, the best things in my life right now. Family and friends are pretty much pulling me through everything at the moment, and I can't even tell you how much I appreciate it and what it means to me.

Tonight was...something I needed very much. It feels good to know that things are going well.

In unrelated news...Superbowl plans? Who's got em? Cause I'm seriously considering picture-in-picture with guitar hero while hanging out with friends, lol.

Ok, I'm sorry, say what? You ace'd the exam and set the so-called 'curve'? You pissed off how many people?

What's your phone number can I call you next weekend and lets go out on a date?

I'm kinda cool with today :)

Being occupied is a good thing. Between school and friends and family and work, I'm not thinking about things that would normally drive me insane. I wonder if that's been my problem all this time, just not having enough to do to keep my mind off the things that would normally drag me down.

It's friggin cold in here, Shel's insisting on the door being open even though its like 5 degrees outside. She's hot. I'm not. So have a blanket. And ryan will probably drape himself over me at some point.

New prospects make me happy. And I'm happy to know that I'm not a complete waste of space at the moment, it was something i sorely needed.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Wow, I sound like an old fogey, lol

Night

So I'm sitting on Ryan's bed at the moment listening to Shel tell me about her work and shirts they can't wear and then her work giving her a shirt she can't wear, and...I'm at peace.

And she's showing me a dress with dots. It's interesting. And saris turned into skirts. Kinda neat.

Anyhow.  I'm looking back, and I know I've done everything I can. You can only give someone so much before they have to come the other half of the way, and if they're not willing to, then you just let go, you can't do much else. If they don't have that faith in you, then it's just not worth it.

A couple of you know everything that's gone on lately, from family stuff to school stuff to girlfriend / ex-girlfriend stuff, etc, etc. I'm not a childish person, by any stretch of the imagination, and some of the accusations flying around strike me as genuinely high school level ,and frankly...it's not my type of thing.

So. I'm letting sleeping dogs lie. If things work out well, cool. If not, oh well, I tried my best.

In other news, pot luck at Ryan's tonight. I made bean dip. And I'm not honestly sure how i feel about it. The bean dip i mean. It's scary. Me and Ami made it, but it's somehow taken a turn for mushy in the car.

I saw Namesake. Let me just saw....wow. I don't even know how to express all the emotions that movie brings out in me.


Ciao,
Paras

I made a mistake. It was a bad one, and is costing me emotionally at the  moment.

I will not make that mistake again, nor many others like it.  I really loved her...



But it's time to take on a new perspective. I want to finish things, and start new ones. I've wasted so much time....

God help me. And I hope I find some real friends along the way. To those who have stood by me and all my crap, and to those who TRIED to stand by me and failed because I was a miserable friend, thank you. I am trying to figure myself out and rekindle certain friendships and relationships, I hope at least some of them are successful.

I don't think I've ever felt like praying before this, but at the moment, that's exactly what I want to do.

So, I was at IHOP with will, keenan, and (Crap why cant i remember his name...im going to remember it...dammit...no I'm not....) some other dude. So it's 3:00 in the morning and we're all going to be ridiculously late to work the next day, and its just excessive. But we've had a great night, caught up with people and such, it's just been a a blast.

We order, still talking, chatting it up, not quite raucous, but definitely more animated than we should be at three in the morning, considering we're all dead tired and ready to hit our pillows with our faces.

The coffee comes first, the waitress sets the jug down on the table and smiles as she leaves. We all pour and mix to our individual tastes, while Will narrates a story about how some woman collided with his car in broad daylight going on the wrong side of the road because she was going 60 mph in a 35. As he continues, the waitress brings our food, pancakes for all, various other items for some, and leaves after asking if we need anything.

Again, we all start to spread butter, pour syrup, etc, etc...I follow suit, pick up a jug, decant over my pancakes while listening to Will

Who slowly trails off...I glance at Keenan, who is snapping a picture of me with her cell phone while Will is trying not to choke while laughing. I look down at the jug of coffee I'm slowly pouring into my pancakes as I burst out laughing.

I made coffeecake. It tastes good. I'm going to do it again. After I post pictures of course.

His name was Kenneth.

It's quite amazing how the smallest deed can resonate within you, how someone's meaningful words can make the most difference in the way you perceive things. I'm not really sure why I am writing about this particular thing, it happened a little while back, but it's just stayed with me. A friend of mine paid me a compliment about something she knows I feel inferior in, and it has gone such a long way in making my confidence in the matter higher and more resilient. I urge all of you to do the same, help your friends where they need it and help them where they are lacking, don't just affirm what they are strong at already! I've tried to do it recently, I'm not sure if I am succeeding or not, but I am making a genuine effort towards it.

It seems like such a childish and immature thing does it not?

Then why does it happen so seldomly? This unselfish aid and recognition of others?


To those who try, thank you and ciao.

I'm struck again by the melancholy tone of this song, the sheer emotion conveyed in a words so simple yet expressive. It's made me think of things that I don't want to leave to another time.

To all my friends, those I've spoken to, those I haven't, to those I've fallen out with to those who I speak to as regularly as I can, I love you. All of you. Hopefully, something has or can touch you and inspire in you what I feel now.

Ciao.

Michael Jackson just skated. He was just acquitted on all 10 of the charges he was brought to trial for, three of which had lesser charges attached to them. I have to ask how in the hell this is possible.

I'm thoroughly disgusted.

I dont know why, and this is pretty stupidly funny, but for some reason...well, here it is.

BARBIE IS EVIL

How in the hell is "My keyboard is sticky" a sexual comment?

BTW. My keyboard really is sticky. Time to wash it.

I plan on experiencing technical difficulties. A lot.

Your Brain is 33.33% Female, 66.67% Male

You have a total boy brain Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts And while your emotions do sway you sometimes... You never like to get feelings too involved

Hey guys, check this out, its quite...interesting.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/zete_tic/329.html

So I did Linnea's superhero thing.....this was hilarious. But I wish I wasnt

called "Buttman"...and I have no car....and I use SPORKS...wait, thats a

plus...sporks....

Your Superhero Persona by couplandesque
Your Name
Superhero Name	Butt-Man
Super Power	Irresistable Sexuality
Enemy	The Cheating Boyfriend
Mode Of Transportation	City Bus
Weapon	Sporks
Quiz created with MemeGen!

I don't know what it is about February, but I just can't seem to get the hang of it. Others are happily preening and purchasing for Valentines, I'm trying to figure out exactly how my schedule is going to work.

Ok, that's weird. All of a sudden, I don't even want to write anymore. More on that later.

Working again. I really love my job, its....quite satisfying.

Ciao

It's 5:30 in the freaking morning and I'm still working. I have coffee and scotch tape. I can make it.


Please.

Help me.






Quickly.



And pray. Lots of praying please.

I'm in economics. It's horrible. Literally. My teacher (nameless, because I like her as a person, but loathe her as an instructor) is ridiculously inept and somewhat mouse-ish. On top of that, she has no coherent train of thought and refuses to pay attention to general classroom cues (aka, a person updating on livejournal, a person listening to music, people falling asleep, people randomly leaving, which is very direcpectful i might add).

Tuan's laptop is fucking amazing. It's dimmer than most people I know, but its still "widescreen". He just fixed it. Damn function key.

Pardon my french. And English. Notice how french is not capitalized. Twice, mon ami.

Is it bad that its only the third day of class and I already want to skip out and go watch a movie or do something completely inane and pointless? Ridiculous.

Back to class. For godsakes people, someone save me.